There’s no way I can describe myself in one post, or even in one blog. That’s the way a person should be – multifaceted, interesting, intriguing, ever-changing. NOT rooted in one place, one space, one idea.
When I started blogging, I posted a few miscellaneous things. Then I moved on to blogging about being the mom of three. One blog was scattered, the other too focused. I wasn’t comfortable in either space. My blogging was like the rest of my life – eager to prove myself, but no real idea of what my voice was.
I think I’ve found it, though, in the form of a nickname my Bestest calls me – Inappropriate Girl. It amuses me. I try to hard to fit in in so many places, but at heart I’m never quite going to do be able to do it. Nor am I going to not try. I’m happiest being my snarky self, which may or may not endear me to people. That’s fine. Like the song in Rent goes, “Take me, baby, or leave me.”
Sometimes I wonder if I was just waiting to hit 40, as if that magic birthday would somehow grant me the ability to speak my mind and do as I pleased. This blog is my present to myself. It’s my place to let it all out, regardless of what people think. If I’m wrong about something, I hope someone tells me. It’s a great way to learn. I don’t mind criticism – it helps me grow. I love being more comfortable in my own skin. I LIKE being 40.
My Bestest has been taking extra good care of me for the past several weeks/months, both pre- and post-plica removal surgery. He’s done most of the grocery shopping, school pick-ups and drop-offs, a lot of the cooking, and all of the heavy lifting. Now that my knee is almost healed at three weeks after surgery, it’s his turn to be sick. Poor thing has pneumonia.
I’m grateful the universe has at least provided us with good timing. I just hope the rest of us don’t get sick too. The Youngest seems a bit sniffly already, which is significant. She also has a tummy ache, which may or may not be. Such is life with Eosinophilic Esophagitis – maybe she’s getting sick or maybe she’s just reacting to something she ate. Time will tell.
It’s looking like the elder two will outlast the rest of us. My Bestest is exhausted, I’ve been up since 3:30 am (oh, hey there early menopause!), and the Youngest is crashing. Hopefully a few good threats will get them through the night with few disturbances. Otherwise, I’m hearkening back to our theme song from when they were little – the Barenaked Ladies’ “Who Needs Sleep?”
When I woke up this morning, the first song that came to mind was “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head.” It had been raining all night. Snuggling in my nice warm bed while cold rain is falling outside is normally a divine experience. Waking up feeling like I was outside in the rain was a buzzkill. It’s been like that the past few mornings – I’ve woken up drenched and concerned. There’s no way I can be going through menopause yet, right?
I finally realized that this should be a short-lived experience. I had knee surgery a few weeks ago to remove my Plica. Post-surgery night sweats are common; I’ve just managed to forget about them. You’d think that with as many surgeries as I’ve had, I’d remember how all this works. I told my bestest that if this keeps up I may better off sleeping in a kiddie pool. If menopause is anything like this, I’ll probably just go buy one, even though that’s not the kind of water bed I was envisioned having when I was a kid. Oh, well.